Hi there, my name is Diane! This is a bookish blog where I'll be posting my reviews and thoughts about what I'm currently reading, as well as my all time favourite books. Thanks for reading and hope you enjoy!
I sat at a table, ate with a knife and fork, dabbed politely at my face with a napkin.
Now I’m coiled in the undergrowth, hidden by the brambles and the dying half-light of late evening. I’m watching a group of people – family or friends – as they eat in the peculiar way I used to.
Their cutlery clinks on china and their laughter tinkles. They are dressed well. They come from money. Their voices are honeyed and proper, and their chatter inane. A dinner party.
The word comes to me; al fresco.
This is a novelty for them, eating outside, breaking bread to herald the hotter weather.
I feast outside day and night.
One of the women pushes her plate away. Too much food, watching her figure.
In the darkness, I stifle a laugh, the choking sound a million miles away from their wind-chime tittering. I remember when I measured my own waist and tracked my calories, denying myself pleasure for the pursuit of perfection.
Now I give in to every impulse. I devour every morsel. Fat and gristle; flesh and bone. I consume everything.
They are finishing their meal now. Knives and forks and napkins are placed neatly on the plates. A man pours everyone glasses of wine they will never drink.
Out I crawl from my hiding place. The “too much” woman notices me first. A flicker of curiosity registers on her face before the horror takes over. Then the inevitable scream.
I smile at them. I enjoy trying out the gesture again but now they are all screaming. I forget my teeth are much sharper than theirs. We are alike in many ways but in the difference they find fear.
They take in my naked form and my body disgusts them. I have limbs but they are longer. A stomach which is swollen from all my good eating. Eyes which are wide so I can better see my prey. Shrivelled breasts that hang low, an inconvenience to the hunt. Hair that is kept long, a half-remembered vanity.
They are panicked, babbling now as they raise their phones, their first instinct not to run but to record. This has been a shift in the ritual through the last decade. I wonder what will come with the next generation.
Some things though will never change. I will advance and they will finally flee, but I will catch them.
Stacey smiled as she heard the opening strains of Wham’s Last Christmas and lowered herself onto the plush armchair, steaming mug of coffee in hand. Looking down at the two children tearing the wrapping from their mountain of presents, she felt at last like all was well. She had never been one for Christmas but she was almost dizzy with it now, seeing the happiness on their faces. So much love, it threatened to overwhelm her.
The room could have been straight out of a magazine, it was so immaculately decorated. Ornate wreaths hung on the walls and the tree twinkled with warm lights; though with their matching pyjamas and bright smiles, the children were somehow even more perfect.
It hadn’t always been easy but now Stacey had it all; her little boy and girl, her dream house, everything she ever wanted.
“look mummy!” the little girl said, “It’s so beautiful, I’m going to play with it every day!” she stood beside a Victorian dolls house, the remnants of the wrapping paper strewn over the floor.
Stacey felt an odd flutter in her chest and her vision swam grey. The doll house was just like one she had as a child, right down to the painted white flowers crawling up the pink exterior. She had the worst kind of déjà vu that stirred a profound sense of wrongness in her.
Shaking her head, she took a deep drink of coffee. Get a grip of yourself woman, she chided herself, It’s bloody Christmas. The coffee was hot and rich, settling her nerves enough to let her melt back into the happy moment, though that strange familiarity still gnawed at the edges.
“It’s lovely” Stacey forced a smile in her voice. “Santa’s been good to you this year”.
“We can play with it all the time mummy, it’ll be the most fun forever”
Stacey smiled for real this time. She was probably misremembering and overreacting as usual. Today wasn’t about her, it was about the children.
“That’s nothing compared to this!” The little boy shouted, “ Look Mum, a bike!”
There was that awful feeling again. It was uncanny. The bike was powder blue with yellow wheels, an exact copy of the one she had received for Christmas aged seven. There was no misremembering this, a photo of her riding that exact bike had hung on her parent’s wall for years.
“Love, who got you that one?” Stacey said, struggling to keep her tone bright.
“Santa of course, silly.” the boy said sweetly.
“Of course, silly mummy!” Stacey felt frayed, an intense headache beginning to build at her temples. What was wrong with her? She needed to keep everything perfect for the children. They were so beautiful. So sweet. Everything she had ever wished for but those gifts… who had bought them? This seemed like more than a coincidence.
Stacey stood up abruptly, the strange panic reaching a boiling point. In her haste, the coffee dropped and hot liquid sloshed at her feet.
“Mummy, are you okay?” The girl said, concern lacing her voice.
“I’m fine love, but look at the mess I’ve made” Stacey was flustered, the pain in her temples screeching.
“No you haven’t mummy, everything is lovely” the girl replied sweetly. Stacey looked down puzzled. There was no mess. The mug of coffee felt solid and warm in her hands.
“My mistake I…’ she trailed off, trying to find the words, “I think I just need a lie down.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, hoping it would help quiet the headache. The pain was getting excruciating now and the music wasn’t helping. It felt like it was getting louder, and why was it still playing anyway? She didn’t remember Last Christmas being this long.
As soon as the thought passed her mind, the song started to distort, the dulcet tones of George Michael warping into a terrible shriek.
Stacey covered her ears. “Please, make it stop!” She yelled, pain and panic overtaking her.
“Mummy, are you okay?” the little boy shouted back. She wanted to console him but everything was wrong. She couldn’t even remember their names.
Oh god, what were their names?
She forced her eyes open. The music stopped, leaving them in terrible silence. The boy and girl stood in front of her, smiling.
She didn’t know who they were.
“You’re not my children, are you?” Stacey said, the realisation numbing her.
“It’s easier if you don’t fight it mummy” the little girl replied, her voice saccharine.
Reality was starting to seep in. This wasn’t her house. This wasn’t her life.
“I don’t have any fucking children, I’m a student, I still live at home for fuck sake!”
“We’re trying to help you” the boy said, reaching out to her, “just take my hand and we’ll make the pain go away”.
And pain there was, she felt like she was going to burst with it.
What the fuck is happening?
She wasn’t going to take his hand, he was a stranger, this was all wrong. So wrong. She watched in horror as the children’s faces began to distort until their features were completely blank. Stacey screamed. The pain reached a crescendo and she felt herself falling into blackness, the illusion shattering
….
Stacey’s eyes fluttered open and she felt her body twitch lamely. She tried to move but she was paralysed. She wasn’t alone though, a figure was crouching beside her. The dread she felt was matched only by the pain that now engulfed every nerve in her body. With her heart racing, stacey swivelled her eyes over to the figure and even in the low light she could tell it wasn’t human. Its clawed fingers were splayed on her chest, forcing her down. Worse, much worse, she felt the awful thing suckling wetly at her temple. She now knew what was causing her agony and tried to scream out but her throat was so dry she managed only a pathetic yelp.
The creature was probing the inside of her head with its tongue.
The awful pressure of it violated her, pressing against her skull. It defied everything she knew to be true but the thing was inside her, lapping at her brain like a fucking ice cream. With a horrible finality, Stacey realised she wasn’t getting away from this. All she wanted now was for the pain to disappear, to go back to that happy place.
“Shh, mummy” she heard a sweet voice say inside her head. “Come back to us, we’ll make it go away.
Please, She thought desperately. Help me.
“We’ll make it perfect for you this time mummy.”
Stacey could barely keep her eyes open now but saw two faceless children hovering on her periphery. She let her eyes flutter shut and the pain mercifully started to recede. Music played faintly in the distance as Stacey felt herself be pulled into the blackness.
……
Stacey smiled as she heard the opening strains of Wham’s Last Christmas and lowered herself onto the plush armchair, steaming mug of coffee in hand. Looking down at the two children tearing the wrapping from their mountain of presents, she felt at last like all was well…
It was the night before Halloween in Wellsboro and the boys were gathered in a semicircle outside the hardware store, straddling their bikes like they were a hardened motorcycle gang rallying outside a dive bar. There were four of them – Chris, Mike, Cory, and Jack. As the oldest, just one month shy of sixteen, Jack had always been the de facto leader of the group, and tonight was no different. On his orders the boys had filled their backpacks with eggs, toilet paper and as much of their parent’s liquor as they could get away with.
“Alright…” Jack spoke in a hushed voice. “Here’s the plan… we’re going to go to Oak and teach those condescending fucks a lesson. See how they like their precious mansions when they’re covered in yolk and TP.”
“Condescending? Biiiig word for you bud, someone’s obviously being doing extra credit with Mrs Andrews.” Chis snickered, looking to the others for approval.
“Yeah? I heard it from your mom, shit for brains. Now listen up, this is important…”
Chris looked defeated but joined the others as they pulled in tighter to hear the rest of the plan, they were still at the age where a ‘your mom’ retort ruled supreme.
“Here…” Jack reached into his backpack and pulled out a pile of red masks, dishing them out to his friends before donning his own. “Got ’em from Razzles. Those Oak streeters won’t know what’s hit them.”
They were cartoonish Devil masks made from cheap shiny plastic. Jack had bought them, not only because they were the cheapest thing in Razzles joke shop, but also for the fact that they looked low effort yet dangerous. He wanted people to see them and fear them. The rest of the boys dutifully put on their own masks and began pedaling.
Their destination, Oak Street, was the evergreen neighbourhood in Wellsboro. Nothing bad ever happened there; their lawns were always manicured and their houses remained pristine. Even last year when the worst storm the town had seen in fifty years tore it’s way through the streets, the entirety of Oak emerged without so much as a scratch.
The residents were the town’s old money families, entrenched in almost every facet of Wellsboro life – much to the chagrin of every aspiring business owner that didn’t have Oak heritage. This would have been a slightly less bitter pill for the other townsfolk to swallow had Oak streeters not had the attitude that they did. They walked around with the kind of arrogance that only comes from being born into money, seemingly oblivious to what the rest of Wellsboro thought about them.
“…like their shit don’t stink too.” Jack had heard his dad say earlier that day, swigging from a beer with a bitter note in his voice. He had been drinking a lot lately, ever since Lance Arison – who lived in the most lavish house on Oak Street – had bought the garage he had worked at for his entire adult life. Jack’s dad and his buddies had been laid off, and ever since then he had become a different person.
That was the reason that Jack had hatched his plan. He just wanted, for at least one night, for that fucking street to be something less than perfect, and top of his list of destruction was Mr Arison’s house
This one is for my dad, asshole.
As the boys got closer to Oak, a feeling began to stir among them, a buzzing of camaraderie that came from the heady mix of their parent’s booze and the anonymity from the masks. They were a pack, red-tinged and hollering; Wellsboro’s avenging devils. Jack looked up at the moon that was so bright it illuminated them more than the streetlights. It looked almost too full and was tinged with rust. Blood moon, He thought to himself with a strange chill, feeling a sense of trepidation that he couldn’t verbalise to the others. He saw Cory look over at him with a concerned expression. He grinned back, squashing his anxiety. Tonight was not the night for second thoughts.
Their wheels skidded to a halt as they reached the signpost. Jack threw the first egg and the boys cheered as it made contact with the sign, smearing the ‘Oak’ with yellow.
“Let’s do this thing!” Mike shouted, racing in front of the others, already beginning to stream toilet paper over the road. While the rest of the boys followed, Jack hesitated. Something felt off. Their energy demanded a chase but every crack of an egg went unanswered. No sounds or movements came from the houses, the lights were off and the curtains drawn. There was a profound wrongness in the air, as if they were the last people left on earth.
Jack looked in the direction Cory was pointing. The Arison house. It stood out from the others, not just from its size and grandeur, but from being the only building with any light. It was dim and flickering but in the still of the rest of the street it was like a beacon. Game on, Jack thought, pushing his anxiety to the back of his mind as he joined the others, pedaling furiously.
As they neared the Arison’s, they noticed a strange rhythmic noise coming from the house that stopped them in their tracks. Jack got off his bike and put a warning finger to his mouth, gesturing to the others to keep quiet. They followed as he sneaked towards the window, making sure to keep low to the ground. He looked through the glass and for a minute he couldn’t make sense of what he was seeing in the dim light. When his eyes finally focused on the shapes through the window he felt his stomach fall. He wanted to look away, to run, but he was frozen. There were around twenty of them, naked, pressed against each other, chanting slowly in unison in a language he couldn’t understand. With a twinge of childish embarrassment, he found himself repulsed at seeing bare adult flesh. It felt perverse, shameful. He couldn’t make out any faces except one – Lance Arison. He was the only one clothed, standing in front of the congregation in a red robe. In his hand he held a long, curved blade that he was using to gesture to something just outside of Jack’s line of sight. There was the sound of a scream from somewhere deeper in the house and the rhythmic chanting faltered. It was the worst sound Jack had ever heard, piercing and full of terror – enough to shake him from his stupor. Whatever was going on here was bad – really bad, and they needed to leave, now.
“Let’s get the fuck out of here!” He shouted, half-hysterical, as they ran to their bikes.
Except their bikes weren’t there.
The boys looked around in disbelief. It hadn’t even been five minutes… they had thought they were alone, but from the corner of their eyes they saw figures start to emerge from the shadows of the Oak tree lawns. “I’m sorry kids.” One of the figures said, closing in, his voice distantly familiar.
“Can’t let you go I’m afraid. Just take comfort in knowing that you’re going to be part of something great. Something bigger than you could understand.”
There were too many of them now, swarming around the boys, beginning to chant the same words Jack had heard at the house. He grabbed desperately at Cory’s sweatshirt, trying to come up with one of his plans, anything to get his friends out of this but he couldn’t think. He’d let them down, dragged them into something darker than he could have ever imagined.
“I’m s-sorry guys,” Jack started, his voice faltering with fear “I shouldn’t have…”
There was a sharp pain in the back of his head and he realised with a dull panic that he couldn’t speak anymore.
The last thing he heard was Cory screaming his name before everything went dark.
***
The next day the town was in a frenzy. Wellsboro hadn’t had anything as bad as this happen in years. Four teenage boys that didn’t make it home and were nowhere to be found. The police had cautioned parents to think twice about trick or treating and had assembled a search party. They looked everywhere in town for the boys, except the one place that didn’t cross their minds. Nothing bad ever happened in Oak Street after all.
Terror Beyond Progress: On Thomas Olde Heuvelt’s HEX
While gothic novels of old trickled information to the reader slowly, gradually building suspense before introducing the monstrous, Thomas Olde Heuvelt showcases this from the very beginning. In HEX, the town of Black Spring, a settlement in New York State nestled by the Hudson River, is home to its very own witch – the vengeful spirit of Katherine Van Wyler who had been brutally executed in 1644 under suspicion of witchcraft. However, Katherine doesn’t slink in the shadows; in fact, she appears on the first page being unceremoniously ‘run over by an antique Dutch barrel organ’. Later in the chapter, she looms in the background of a family home where they refer to her as ‘Gramma’ and hang an ‘old dishcloth’ over her face. For Black Spring, a witch’s haunting is business as usual, and a business it certainly is.
The town employs an extensive security program aptly titled HEX, with employees ensuring the town’s secret stays hidden and the witch doesn’t cause any trouble. Most progressive in the security detail is the use of technology, as townspeople use an app to pinpoint Katherine’s whereabouts and feed the information back to HEX headquarters. Of course, a technology forward security operation isn’t exactly synonymous with the Gothic and seems rather unexpected in a novel about a haunted town. Yet, the absurdity of the witch’s presence and the measures the townspeople take to conceal the secret is what makes Olde Heuvelt’s novel so striking. This melding of classic Gothic tropes with technology and macabre humour places the novel firmly in the territory of Postmodern Gothic, with these sensibilities becoming increasingly marked as the novel progresses.
From the ridiculous rendering of the witch’s introduction, you would be forgiven for thinking that she is a toothless antagonist, yet, as the story unfolds, we learn that she is anything but. Olde Heuvelt employs a gradual change in tone that sees the witch progress from a town nuisance, to an apocalyptic harbinger of Black Spring’s collapse. We learn that her whispers compel one to take their own life and, likewise, if any Black Spring resident remains outside the limits of town for too long they are plagued with hallucinations urging them towards suicide. Once you decide to live in Black Springs, you can never leave, with the townspeople forced to confront the sins of their Puritan predecessors every day. Even the town’s control over Katherine is tenuous, with their relative rein over the witch made possible from her eyes and mouth being stitched closed, purportedly by church elders after her first sighting in the year 1713. Katherine is literally silenced, unable to fully enact her vengeance on a town whose regressive ideals destroyed her. As the head of HEX, Robert Grim explains to shaken new residents of the town:
‘Stitching her up has made her mostly harmless… we have every reason to believe that if her eyes open and she starts muttering her spells, we will all die…Katherine is a paranormal ticking time bomb.’
(Olde Heuvelt, 2016)
It is the threat of what the witch could do that keeps Black Spring constantly on its toes, with superstition changing the very fabric of the town and eventually shattering the illusion of progress and civility.
This dichotomy between superstition and progress is central to the novel, made literal through the tension between the neo-puritanical ‘council’ and the modern outfit of HEX. Ran by the elderly Colton Mathers, the council is responsible for dolling out punishments straight out of the 17th century, much to the distress of Robert Grim and other progressive townsfolk. Also on the side of progress are the town’s stifled teenagers who concoct a plan to expose the witch in true 21st century fashion, by causing her to go viral through a vlog series which, as one can imagine, does not go well. This subplot is the catalyst for the novel’s catastrophic climax, signposting the disconnect between advancing in the shadow of historical guilt. This dichotomy is particularly notable as the protagonist recalls the disconnect between voting in the 2012 U.S elections for Barack Obama, a relatively progressive candidate, while Katherine – the embodied representation of the nation’s brutal past hovers nearby.
From these themes of guilt and hidden secrets, it seems like Olde Heuvelt was aiming for a contemporary reimagining of American Gothic, indebted to the likes of Nathaniel Hawthorne and Edgar Allan Poe. However, Olde Heuvelt is in fact a Dutch author, with the original 2013 novel set in the Netherlands which has markedly less national guilt and a lack of known Gothic tradition. Translated in 2016 by Nancy Forest-Flier working in tandem with Olde Heuvelt himself, the English edition was localised to New York State with the ending also changed in the process. The fact that a Dutch writer can position themselves with ease into another nation’s literary tradition speaks to cultural fluidity that comes from globalisation and postmodernity. The U.S’s lingering historical guilt is firmly in the global consciousness with its Gothic potential still translating wonderfully to literature.
The translation also goes down a more obviously postmodern path as Olde Heuvelt employs self-reflexivity and ambiguity to better suit his foray into American Gothic. While the original Dutch version ends with the witch as the undoubted evil of the town, the Americanised edition suggests that the real evil is the town itself. When the threat of the witch’s eyes being opened becomes real, the town is quick to cannibalise itself. Looting, child sacrifice and ritual murder ensue, showing just how illusory progress and civility are. The witch opens her eyes but is not responsible for a single death, looking on in confusion as the townspeople give into superstition, showing their similarity to their puritan ancestors. As the head of HEX’s security and the last bastion of tolerance, Robert Grim makes explicit the absurdity of the regression:
‘Madness. Yesterday afternoon these folks were still ordinary, mild mannered twenty-first century Americans…’
(Heuvelt, 2016)
This new take on the haunting of the past makes HEX a worthy addition to contemporary Gothic and it’s creeping, apocalyptic tone makes it a befitting read for these troubling times (although I wouldn’t blame you for just sticking to Netflix right now) Most importantly, HEX shows that the Gothic doesn’t need to retreat into the shadows to terrify. The monstrous can be allowed into the open, into your home, even into your phone – and still give a good scare.